urami: (Gallerian)
...of the bargain hunting kind, that is. All over the country, retail workers are battening down the hatches, chugging 5-Hour Energies like the government’s about to make them illegal, slapping Salonpas on their backs and shoulders, shredding stacks of previously-used coupon, and making little voodoo dolls of the district managers who are forcing everyone to be open on Thanksgiving itself. If my shop’s anything to go by, everyone’s also attempting to make alternate travel arrangements for getting to work on Black Friday, as our mall has half of the parking it usually does due to a delayed construction project.

Truthfully, I’m dreading it. We’re expecting a $25,000 day on Friday, and our mall has been freaking out over security. I’m not sure which is the more paranoia-inducing scenario I’ve had emailed to me by mall management over the past few days- we get a rioting mob rampaging through the area, we get a disgruntled former employee shooting up the place, or we get terrorists deciding that blowing up the mall would be a good idea. It doesn’t really help that the advice in case anything like this happens is “barricade yourself in the stockroom and hope you don’t die.” Way to make everyone who works here even more concerned than we already were, mall management. Now we’re not only going to be watching out for shoplifters and run-of-the-mill annoying customers, we’re going to be surreptitiously checking to see if any of that might happen. Which it most likely will not, but still, it’s unsettling to think about.

If you’re going out shopping on Black Friday, have fun! But please treat us well, too. I’m going to be there for 14 hours, all of it spent working, likely without much of a break. I’m most likely going to be doing my holiday shopping on the Internet, because I know I won’t have too much time to go shopping in an actual, physical store.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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urami

May 2017

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